Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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