I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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