I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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