he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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