i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i out mim tonsoeep
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
