Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
