Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
try to milk me bitch
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize