i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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