I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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