My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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