At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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