I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
