I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
