So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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