just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
