D3 body, D1 cock
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
