i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
