He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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