office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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