where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
