The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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