Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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