Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We're not piercing ourselves today.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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