you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
