I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please, let me fuck your mom
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My life is pants optional.
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