i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
