no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
