Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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