please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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