I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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