we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
