But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
