if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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