Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I believe in your delicious
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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