I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
