I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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