that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
