Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
