The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
