we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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