so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.