Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.