I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.