I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
