Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.

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  (812): her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time. http://tfl.nu/kowe
  Replies (8) Good night (3289) Bad night (556)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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  (651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx
  Replies (215) Good night (1076) Bad night (3808)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?

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  (330): I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over? http://tfl.nu/p1bn
  Replies (14) Good night (4580) Bad night (1034)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

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  (540): Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex. http://tfl.nu/iyvz
  Replies (17) Good night (9355) Bad night (1391)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head

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  (847): You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head http://tfl.nu/hdz6
  Replies (23) Good night (7957) Bad night (1337)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  when are you leaving homes?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I had a sex dream about Oprah.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  go back to sleep

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

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  (302): when are you leaving homes? (610): it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51 (302): I had a sex dream about Oprah. (610): go back to sleep (302): dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah. http://tfl.nu/idf1
  Replies (16) Good night (1473) Bad night (5414)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"

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  (585): I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome" http://tfl.nu/e453
  Replies (4) Good night (4645) Bad night (967)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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  (508): Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned http://tfl.nu/z9a2
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (1852)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!

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  (770): ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!! http://tfl.nu/fv9p
  Replies (8) Good night (865) Bad night (410)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.

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  (202): I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills. http://tfl.nu/w2hv
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (684)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.

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  (705): Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap. http://tfl.nu/psf5
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (373)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.

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  (832): Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard. http://tfl.nu/w1ic
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (308)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.

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  (814): Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good. http://tfl.nu/cttc
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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  (306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80
  Replies (8) Good night (725) Bad night (284)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

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  (605): I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help. http://tfl.nu/advt
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (311)

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