So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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