I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We are two peas in an std pod
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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