He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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