my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
