before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
