I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
