if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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