oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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