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we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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