Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
