Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
