I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
