She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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