Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
