Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
