Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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