My vagina just recognized that song.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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