Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
