I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize