trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
