guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
