no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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